Donald Trump President

Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders shocked the hell out of everybody by showing up to Palm Springs Village Fest on Thursday night. The Presidential candidate cruised around, ate fajitas, and took loads of pictures – but, what would it be like if the Republican candidate, Donald Trump, did the same thing? Well, seeing as how it has already been shown that no one wants him here, we can only imagine.

Here are 9 things that Donald Trump would probably say if he came to Palm Springs Village Fest:

  1. “You should rename the ‘Tram’ the ‘Trump’…that would be a yuuuuuge move for the attraction.”
  2. “My head of PR, John Miller, is from Palm Springs.”
  3. “Let’s build a wall around Las Casuelas Terraza – and make them pay for it.”
  4. “When does it get windy? Not asking because of my ‘hair’.”
  5. “When Desert Hot Springs sends its people to Palm Springs, they’re not sending the best. They’re not sending you, they’re sending people that have lots of problems and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bring crime. They’re rapists… And some, I assume, are good people.”
  6. “I am quitting the race for President to instead become the Palm Springs City Manager since it pays more.
  7. “An ‘extremely credible source’ has called my office and told me that Bob Hope’s birth certificate is a fraud.”
  8. “Wait.  I am not the only orange Republican in town?”
  9. “Where can a guy find a good taco bowl in town?  Any of you Hispanics that I love know?”

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