The best pie is pecan pie

Ahh, yes. Here we are again. It’s Pi Day. And while that means mathletes can geek out over their favorite number and everyone else can get a BOGO deal on pizzas, it also means it’s an excuse to eat the best dessert there is: pie. But what is the best pie? That’s easy: it’s pecan and anyone who says otherwise is wrong as wrong can be.

Now first, we are talking about real pie here – so you can FTFOH with your chicken pot pies, pizza pies and shepherd’s pies.  Sure, technically, those are “pies” but you know and I know that when we talk about pies, we are talking about dessert pies (the same way we all know a hot dog is not a sandwich!).

When it comes to these actual pies, some of you will say apple pie or pumpkin pie are the best. And, yeah, could say that, but you would still be totally wrong. The thing with these and other fruit-style pies is that while many end up being very good, others turn out oh so bad. But, you know what never turns out bad? Pecan pie! Yup, when you are dealing with just nuts, eggs, loads of butter, and mounds of sugar, it’s tough to screw things up. Sure, some people might burn it or something, but that’s because they’re not making it enough to practice and they should, because it’s so good, you could eat it every night (assuming you also did 3 hours of cardio that day).

And we are just getting started with the ingredients.  Professional pecan pie makers step things up even more with vanilla or hard sauce or, best of all, bourbon – which makes literally everything better and makes a pecan pie damn near orgasmic.

Sadly, pecan pie always gets screwed over because some very wrong and very vocal people are always out there screaming about lemon meringue (a bunch of bites of air) chocolate cream (pudding in a pie crust) or turtle pie (no actual turtles!), and while all those pies are okay, they are nowhere close to as good as pecan pie.

Now sure, some people frown on the amazing pecan pie because it doesn’t look as fancy as others (maybe don’t judge a book by its cover, judgy assholes!) and no one knows how to say pee-cahn or pee-can or whatever. But you don’t have to say it, you just have to eat it – and you should, because pecan pie is the best pie there is.

Want to make a rad pecan pie?  Of course you do!  Here are some awesome recipes:

Now go make one already (and invite me over) and enjoy knowing you are having the best pie there is.