Seriously, please stay the hell away from me

While the true heroes of are working their asses off (and risking their lives doing it in our local hospitals), I have been trying to do my part by locking myself up inside my house only to surface once every 10 days or so for food, supplies, and my medicine (whiskey). Today was a supply run day and, dude, I do not understand, after all we have seen and heard in the last few days, why in the hell so many people couldn’t stay just a few feet away from me.

My first stop was the grocery story and, as you probably know, that’s insanity nowadays.  While most people get it, there are quite a few who just walk right up to you like it’s any other day.  I had a fun experience with a guy in his 20s as we were both headed for the apples at the same time and after about 30, “no, you go first” we finally figured it out, took our turns, and kept some space.  But then there were the other ten or so people who were touching everything, not keeping any space, and, let’s be honest here, just being clueless assholes.

This store had lines painted on the floor at the register – which is clearly there for everyone except the dude and his wife in their 70s who bypassed it only to be scolded by me. “Please, stand back there!” I scolded.  They reluctantly backed up and I could tell they were pissed but, I mean, they are more vulnerable than me to this thing and, dude, I am filled with so much rage just thinking about all of this because do you know what they were holding while waiting in line? Five tomatoes and some sliced cheese. That’s it. I am no survivalist, but that doesn’t seem like a good supply run and I can only think they are heading out everywhere, all day long, and standing right next to everyone and because of these people I just want to scream all the time now.

After paying for everything and me nearly breaking down while thanking the exhausted cashier and bagger for everything they are doing, I headed to my car and had to walk over three sets of gloves tossed on the ground and I am pretty certain that’s not the best way to dispose of those nowadays after shopping.  I would like to think people are better than this, but, I guess not.

Next up was my pharmacy (for my non-whiskey medication) and these people freakin’ get it. The place is locked up.  You wait in your car, they bring you your stuff, there is no touching, no lines for people to sneak up on me, and no need to scold a Fox Newser who still doesn’t get it.  It was honestly the best part of my day.

After feeling elated by the pharmacy experience, I headed to my last stop at the post office because i have a PO Box which seemed like a good idea when I got it years ago to use form business, dumbly never thinking a pandemic might happen.  Now I should point out here that  I, like so many, look like hell these days.  Today, I basically looked like I was on my third day of Coachella without a shower:

And as terrible as I look and as many times as there have been warnings about practicing social distancing, wouldn’t you know it, while opening up my mailbox, I had a dude walk right up, about four inches away to grab his mail, because why wait 10 seconds?  I’m sure he was in a rush to get to his tee time at one of the desert’s still-open and totally entitled golf courses – but, dude, c’mon.

I don’t really have much more to say here except, CAN YOU ALL PLEASE STAY AWAY FROM ME AND EACH OTHER??????

It just doesn’t seem that hard.