See ‘Star Wars: The Last Jedi’. Then, STFU!!!!

Planning on seeing Star Wars: The Last Jedi soon? Good for you. I’m sure it is going to be amazing. But, here’s the thing: even though you might be seeing it as soon as it comes out, not everyone is so lucky. You see, things like jobs and kids and parole hearings means not everyone is going to be able to see it right away. So, even though you can fuck it all up by posting spoilers, don’t. Just don’t.

And why?

Well, it’s because Luke reveals he is Rey’s dad. That’s why!!!

I kid. I haven’t actually seen the movie yet. And, when I do, I am going to refrain from screwing it up for everyone else because it’s Christmas and it’s the right thing to do dammit.

Anyhoo, enjoy the movie even though Poe Dameron turns trader and Finn dies.