Desert Hot Springs sign

Desert Hot Springs Police should be on Kickstater

The City of Desert Hot Springs is in all kinds of financial straits. The biggest issue facing the city is law enforcement. The problem: cops like to, you know, get paid for doing their job (which in DHS is very hard). Unfortunately, Desert Hot Springs has made a lot of terrible decisions over the years (Wellness And World Music Festival 2010 anyone?) – so now they are stuck with considering major paycuts and new taxes. But there may be another way.

Kickstarter!

I know this might sound crazy, but Desert Hot Springs should put their police department on Kickstarter. If a guy making potato salad can make $60,000, then surely DHS can make enough to pay their law enforcement officers.

With Kickstarter, a financial goal is set and perks are set up in order to lure investors. For example, a restaurant looking to increase their square footage might offer free meals to potential donors while a tech startup might give them first crack at buying their product. With this model in mind, here are some potential perks that could be put in place for Desert Hot Springs:

  • $1 – a bottle of award winning DHS water
  • $25 – a DHS cop will patrol your neighborhood at least once a week for a year
  • $50 – donor receives one “get out of jail free” card for a minor offense (traffic violation, jay walking, etc.)
  • $100 – donor receives 5 full minutes in front of DHS city officials where they can verbally berate them for getting the city into this awful mess – plus a bottle of award winning DHS water (you will need it after screaming for 5 minutes)
  • $500 – donor receives 1 free police escort complete with sirens and lights within city limits. Whether you are on your way to birth your child or just late to work – you will get there in a flash
  • $1,000 – DHS police officers will be forced to “totally believe you just have a cold” when you are caught with 1,000+ boxes of Sudafed

And these are just a few (awesome) suggestions. The possibilities (and potential funds) are endless. With Kickstater, Desert Hot Springs can get the money they need to pay for an effective police department and DHS residents can get some cool stuff in return.

So please, stop the “fact finding” and put The Desert Hot Springs Police Department on Kickstarter as soon as possible.


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