6 reasons why martini glasses suck and can gtfo right now!!

Headed out for a cocktail tonight? Be sure to ask for whatever you get, even if it’s a martini, in a rocks glass – because, as these six reasons explain, martini glasses are garbage.

1) They Cost You Valuable Booze

The first thing you are going to do with that Cosmo, Manhattan, or Martini your bartender just worked her ass of to make for you is spill part of it because it’s filled to the brim and, unless you just decide to slurp some out without touching the glass, some of it is going to spill out.

2) They’re not functional

Even after you or your server has spilled some out, moving these things from the bar to a table is way harder than it should be whether you are trying to balance a few on a tray or, worse, attempting to carry two or more by the stem by either cradling it, ensuring your hot hand brings it instantly to room temp, or by gripping the stem, which makes you look incredibly dumb.

3) They’re hard to store

These asshole glasses take up way too much room in any cabinet and can’t be stacked the way rocks glasses can.  If there is someone you hate on your Christmas list, buy them a four-pack of martini glasses.  It will instantly ruin any chance they have of storing their glassware in an organized way.

4) They break too easily

Odds are, if you occasionally drink and are over 25, you have broken at least two of these in your life.

A martini on the rocks – which makes more freakin’ sense

5) They have no room for ice

Screw you, cocktail purists. I prefer liquor drinks on ice. This might have to do with the fact that I like in a town that is hot as hell and my Manhattan will be room temp in about 3 minutes time. Screw that. Dump that drink in a rocks glass and throw some cubes in it.

6) They’re are just dumb

They are.


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