How to sneak food out of a buffet

Yes, you are not supposed to sneak food out of a buffet, but what if you want some of that delicious buffet food at a later time?  How can you do it without getting kicked out of the place forever or worse, getting thrown in smorgasbord jail? – which is a thing that definitely does not exist but sounds like it should.

I learned an interesting way to go about discreetly taking a bunch of grub a few years ago. I was dating a girl and the very first time I met her grandparents was at the buffet at Agua Caliente Casino. They showed up with a few wrapped presents which terrified me.  DID I FORGET HER BIRTHDAY? Did I somehow forget my birthday? Are they super-weird and celebrate the buffet’s birthday?

Nope.  Turns out, every trip to the buffet for this couple was a “birthday party” complete with empty gift boxes filled with Ziploc bags.  At one point, when no one was looking, they just dumped a shit ton of meat and shrimp into one of the boxes and put the top back on like it was a normal thing that everyone did.  When our meal was done, they just carried the loaded up boxes back out of the restaurant and no one said a word.

I had kind of hoped that grandpa tripped while carrying the “gifts” and crab legs, prime rib, and cookies were thrown everywhere just to see how the buffet staff would react, but alas he was a professional buffet thief and it didn’t happen.

Now, to be clear, I am not saying this is the right thing to do.  I am just saying it is something crazy that I saw that actually worked.

I would love to hear your alternate strategies.  Let’s discuss in the comments.


1 COMMENT

  1. At a Christmas party at the boss’s house, a fellow employee had had a bit to drink and thought she would sneak out a bottle of unopened wine. When she got to the door, the wine slipped, hit the floor and broke – red wine everywhere.
    She was shortly let go after that.
    That is how NOT to do it.

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