No wristband for Coachella? You are probably better off – quesadillas and floppy hats are dying like flies in Indio!! The festival is pretty rad – but, if you can’t get in, at least festival organizer Goldenvoice is kind enough to stream most of it for free and when they are not doing that, you can just watch the unintentionally hilarious Coachella episode of the ‘Full House’ reboot on Netflix.
The 5th episode of the series finds Stephanie, who is a DJ going by the name DJ Tanner – clever – going to Coachella with a friend and, even though she was not scheduled to perform at the festival, ends up doing a set on the main stage because sitcom writing is fantastic.
Vulture sums up the episode’s big Coachella scene:
What about DJ Tanner’s stage? (I’m not talking about the real D.J. Tanner here, but the fake DJ Tanner who plays Coachella in an Old Navy dress and a wonderfully fake braid, which is the most Coachella thing about this entire episode. It has cheesy backup dancers, a few turntables, and video screens. It is a production designer’s idea of what a music festival looks like, if that production designer has never been to one. Throw in some cute editing with a crowd that was probably 30 people deep — they tried to make it look like 10,000 — and you have yourself a fake music festival.
Here are all the things that they should have added to the crowd to make it look more like Coachella: Sweaty Uggs, a full carpeting of half-crushed plastic Bud Light cups, molly, Kelly Osbourne getting into a spat with Jaden Smith because he won’t give her a sip off the water jug that he carries around all the time, floral crowns, patchouli smell, all of Katy Perry’s gays, molly, a kid passed out with fake Kiss makeup drawn on his face in Sharpie, and Molly (a girl, not the drug).
Stephanie, errr DJ Tanner, then takes a call from her nephew in the middle of her set and blasts live video of him playing an awful trombone solo to the crowd, who does not like it at all – until the genius that is DJ Tanner (not to be confused wit hD.J. Tanner) remixes it, much to their delight.
She then ends her set and is back in San Francisco in about an hour – because that is how California travel works – after turning down the chance to party with George Clooney in Italy.
Who knows, movies are out promoting at the real fest this weekend, maybe Goldenvoice will surprise everyone with a Stepanie Tanner in for a DJ set in Sahara too.