Donald Trump will be sworn in – *burp* – as the next President – *dry heave* – of America – *barf* – on Friday. Congressman Raul Ruiz has decided not to attend the festivities to instead drive his terrible car to Banning, reports the Desert Sun.

A real president doesn’t attack the press because they ask tough questions,” Ruiz said Monday. “A real president doesn’t insult and bully celebrities or everyday Americans because they disagree with him. A real president doesn’t use the office to make millions more for his own wealth or his family’s wealth.”

Instead, Ruiz, a Democrat from La Quinta beginning his third term in the House, plans to attend a Saturday morning veterans expo in Banning.

Ruiz’s decision will have him missing out not only on seeing the swearing in of Trump as President -*barf again* – but also the all-star lineup of Three Doors Down, some pissed off Rockettes, and Toby Keith.


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