Clare: Where, oh where, do I have my affair?

Welcome to Ask Clare, our advice column.  Have a question, dilemma, or quandary?  Sent it to Clare in an email or on her Facebook page


I’m cheating on my husband. Don’t worry – I am not looking for relationship advice. I’m content with the path I am on for now. I just need ideas for how and where my beau and I can enjoy our time together out without raising suspicion or being seen by friends, family or colleagues. I’m sick of being holed up in hotels and I never thought I would tire of room service, but I have. – Wandering wife

Wandering wife,

For starters, I would avoid anywhere you and your husband have been more than once or twice. The valley is so connected that you may not be safe at any local restaurants. Head to Morongo Casino and The Salted Pig in Riverside for upcoming date nights – both have handy hotel options. If you’re hoping to stay in town, a movie theater would likely be a safe spot but I would buy your tickets separately. A spa day would also probably be a safe bet. Miramonte has a great spa with a good co-ed area. Be prepared to pretend you’re out solo or that your beau is your bro in the event you see friends while out.



Dear Clare,

My thirteen daughter went to a Halloween party over the weekend. I bought a costume that she chose after a stunningly long shopping trip. Mind you – I vetoed some of her picks as they were inappropriate for a young girl. A friend mentioned that his son showed her pics from the party and she was surprised I let my daughter wear so little. It was not the costume that I bought but one I had said no to. Her mom bought it. How can I talk to my ex wife about making sure we’re on the same page about what’s appropriate – costume or not? – Costume cop

Costume cop,

Getting on the same page as your ex-wife on any topic may not be a treat – but not as tricky as parenting a teen. Needless to say, you don’t both need to shell out cash for a Halloween costume every year. Sounds like you and your wife need to communicate more regularly about details. Make sure that what you see as appropriate is in line with what kids normally wear nowadays.




A month ago, my coworker asked me to borrow two hundred dollars. She said that she needed it for her electric bill and that she would pay me after payday. Well payday has come and gone (twice) and I haven’t seen anything back. I asked her the other day how she was doing financially and she said things were really hard. I had pity for her until Monday when I saw that she had gotten her nails done over the weekend. She also was talking about how she went out of town. I don’t really need the cash – but it’s just not right that she’s busy spending money that’s mine. Thoughts? – Money matters

Money matters,

Be more direct and ask when your coworkers plans to repay you. I would remind her now and then, if needed, on each following payday until you’re repaid. Lending a few bucks to a coworker that forgot his wallet is not a big deal but other than that you do not want to gain a reputation as the office bank. If people don’t owe you money, you won’t resent them for getting a mani pedi or being bad with money.


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