Clare: Who gets the dog in our breakup?

Welcome to Ask Clare, our advice column.  Have a question, dilemma, or quandary?  Send it to Clare in an email or on her Facebook page.  

Clare,

My boyfriend and I have lived together for two and a half years. During that time, we got a dog. I have been unhappy for a while but I am pretty confident that if we break up, he will fight to keep the dog. We both love, take care of and help pay for the dog. The bad news is that the adoption paperwork is in my boyfriend’s name. Should I try to get him to break up with me in hopes that he’ll let me keep our dog. – Pup parent

Pup parent,

Dogs have been at the center of all-out divorce battles, so I am not surprised to hear about the position that you’re in. Before you purposefully put yourself in the dog house, tell your boyfriend that you aren’t happy the way things are going. When you are talking about logistics of the split one of you may be better positioned with your schedule or yard situation. Do what’s best for Fido and one of you may have to head to Palm Springs Animal Shelter for a new ‘furever’ friend.

Clare

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Clare,

I have a friend in town for one night only next week and she wants to do something super Chrismas-y. I was thinking of just watching Christmas movies or going to The Living Desert. Not sure what else my friend expects. Thoughts? – Holiday handler

Holiday handler,

Robolights is back this year and gets my vote. It is pretty unique. Candy Cane Lane (Minerva Road) in Cathedral City is nearby so you could make it a double feature. I recommend walking rather than driving. There is usually hot cocoa stand put on by the kind (traffic tolerant) residents. Obviously, The Living Desert’s WildLights are a good family-friendly option.

Clare

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Clare,

I just got a great job offer and I am thrilled. To put it lightly, I don’t like my current boss. I would love to really give her a piece of my mind and let her know all of the ways that she is making the work environment crappy for the colleagues I am leaving behind. My dad told me this is a terrible idea. I get his point but I don’t want to miss this opportunity to vent and maybe help my coworkers. – Movin’ on up

Movin’ on up,

Your dad is right – be careful. The boss you’re running away from may be called by a prospective employer in the future and asked about you. You can tell HR (or your boss or her boss) some of the thoughts you have about why the workplace was challenging but be extremely diplomatic. Try not to make it personal or focus on issues that were specific to you alone. Congrats on the new gig. I hope you like it. Go get ‘em tiger.

Clare

Have something to add, do it in the comments below, and be sure to check out Clare’s previous columns.


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