Ask Clare: I saw my coworker’s boyfriend on Tinder

Welcome to Ask Clare, our advice column.  Have a question, dilemma, or quandary?  Send it to Clare in an email or on her Facebook page.

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Dear Clare,

I was on Tinder the other day and saw the bartender from my work who happens to be in a pretty serious relationship with a waitress we both work with. Needless to say I didn’t swipe right. Should I tell the girl? I am not really even that close with either of them but I do like her and would want to know myself.
– Tinder trouble

Tinder trouble,

There is a lot you don’t know here. You never know what kind of arrangement they have. You also don’t know how old or active his account is. Getting involved may just stir up trouble and lead to you getting watered down drinks.
– Clare

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Dear Clare,

My mom gets jealous when my sister and I hang out and don’t invite her. It doesn’t really matter what we’re doing. She just seems to be offended that we don’t always include her. Now we try not to tell her that we’ve seen each other. Any advice to get Mom to be less sensitive?
– Sneaking sister

Sneaking sister,
I think you should worry less about hiding your hang outs and also about your Mom’s comments. Next time she complains, simply tell her that you’re grateful she gave you a sister that you have a friendship with.
– Clare

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Dear Clare,

I am an amateur photographer that sometimes gets lucky with paid gigs on weekends. A friend of a friend asked me to take some engagement photos. I said yes. After we negotiated a price, they asked me to go out of town to do the photo shoot and they asked me if the files could be edited within just a couple days. With my life, my day job and their price the answer is no. Is it rude to suggest they hire (and budget for) a professional photographer?
– Shutter bug

Shutter bug,

There is no harm in telling them that you’re not able to do what they asked. Give them some cool local places that you could take pics – maybe the base of the tram or Tahquitz Canyon (if they’ll pay your entry fee). They may be willing to accommodate your schedule and need to stay local. If not, refer them to a photo pro. They’ll learn there is a price to pay for flexibility.
– Clare


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