Welcome to Ask Clare, our advice column. Have a question, dilemma, or quandary? Send it to Clare in an email or on her Facebook page.
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Clare,
I have never been to the tennis in Indian Wells. Frankly, I’ve never ever watched tennis on TV. A girl I am into asked me if I want to go. Apparently, she goes every year. I am afraid to look ignorant. I have been looking up the rules and the terms and watching clips on YouTube but it just sounds confusing and looks boring. I’m not really a sporty guy. Should I turn her down to avoid embarrassment? – Tennis menace
Tennis menace,
Check it out and be open about the fact that you don’t know much about tennis. If you try to pretend, you’ll probably sound like a moron. Hopefully, the girl you go with will be cool about explaining the rules and what’s going on. If she’s not, just try to soak up what you can and think about what you want in a girl since this one is a brat. There are also some pretty great food options to enjoy there and more going on outside the court. Try to be you, not who you think she wants. That’s not sustainable. – Clare
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Clare,
I am proposing to my long-time girlfriend on a weekend trip up to Big Bear. I’m very excited but also stressed about who to call first once it’s official. My parents split up when I was a teenager – a messy divorce. I know that the second thing either of my parents will say is, “Did you already tell your mom/dad?” How do I avoid hurting feelings? Should I just flip a coin as to who to tell first? Also – how can I talk to them about behaving at the wedding? – Big little question
Big little question,
First, spend at least an hour or two soaking up your new engagement without calling anyone. Then try to pretend neither of them will ask you who you’ve told. Who would you rather call first? Call him/her. Don’t apologize to the runner up. As for behavior at the wedding, tell them you are worried that they won’t be civil with each other and that’s very important to you and your wife-to-be. At the end of the day, you and your wife will probably be too busy greeting your guests to have to deal with the interaction of your parents. Oh, yeah. Good luck! – Clare
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Clare,
I picked my son up from preschool and he told me that he was thirsty immediately upon getting into the car. He drank his entire cuppy full of water on the five-minute drive home. I asked why he didn’t drink at daycare and he said they wouldn’t let him have his cuppy, that they never do. I asked a teacher and she said that the reusable cups/bottles are problematic because of fighting and germs. They tell three-year-olds to drink from a water fountain. Should I bring this up to the owner of the daycare and ask them to change this policy? – Mom on a mission
Mom on a mission,
I think you can emphasize to both the teacher and the owner of the daycare that anytime your son says he’s thirsty, they need to make sure he drinks water (at the fountain or out of his cup). Tell them about your son being so thirsty the other day. I can see what they’re saying with the germ factory – those places breed the sickness. Let them know if it happens again, you plan to look into other child-care options. In the meantime, get your plan B ready. – Clare
