Ask Clare: A guy said he loved me, then said it was an April Fool’s joke

Welcome to Ask Clare, our advice column.  Have a question, dilemma, or quandary?  Send it to Clare in an email or on her Facebook page.



A close friend of mine, Max, text me on Sunday and told me he’d had strong feelings for me a long time. I told him that I was sorry but I didn’t feel the same way. Then he said he “got me” and it was an April Fool’s joke. I can’t help but think Max really is in love with me and just using that as an excuse to see what I think without making a fool of himself. Should I just pretend this never happened?
– April fool

April fool,

Put some distance between you and Max. Be his friend but give him plenty of space if you think he has feelings that you don’t reciprocate. Also, tell him he needs to improve his April Fool’s game for next year.
–  Clare



I can’t help but search for jobs out of town daily when summer is almost here. I really like my job, my friends and my life here but summer just sucks. People keep telling me I will get used to it after another year or two. Are they bullshitting me because I don’t know if I can do this again?
– Hot stuff

Hot stuff,

It sucks. It really does. Many people don’t ever get used to summers here. They stay because you get more bang for your buck than SoCal (west of here, at least). We’re also lucky to be in a resort town – we get a better food scene and shopping for it. If you’re constantly looking for jobs elsewhere, I think your subconscious is willing to part with this place. You can go somewhere that has a strong summer market, like Colorado or the beach and try to have the best of both worlds. Good luck in your search. Find something worth escaping to.
– Clare



I was at Target with my daughter and I was talking with her about what she wanted to buy. A stranger (okay, an old lady) came up and said that I should let my daughter dress the way she wanted. I snapped and told the lady to mind her own business. Well maybe there were some other words added to make my point. Later I told my friend what happened and she thought I had overreacted. Did I? Can’t I just shop in peace?
– Do not disturb

Do not disturb,

If you want to shop in peace – do it from the comfort of your couch. Going out into society, you risk these types of interactions. Just ignore people, especially old ladies. It doesn’t feel great to get unsolicited advice but based on the fact that you’ve asked me, it seems you value other people’s opinions. Try to keep it kosher in front of your kid.
– Clare

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