The soon-to-be former POTUS and FLOTUS are coming to the Coachella Valley for a little R&R following the Inauguration of an angry, tweeting, troll as the next President of the United States. Here are ten things the Obamas must do while they are in town.

  1. Take a picture with the windmills to drive you-know-who crazy crazier.
  2. Go golfing…but not at Porcupine Creek or Sunnylands, instead they go to Boomer’s.
  3. Keep their phone handy in case Congressman Ruiz’s shitty car breaks down on the way to Banning and they need to pick him up.
  4. Let us all know if they actually bought that damn house in Rancho Mirage.
  5. Strike a deal to call Spotlight 29 casino “Obama 29” from now on.
  6. Beat that big-ass burrito challenge at Zobo and Meester’s.
  7. Walk around Street Fair like Bernie.
  8. Go to the Nest and take awesome pics like John Boehner.
  9. Burn their bed when they leave.
  10. Finally go karaoking with us at Neil’s Lounge.

Enjoy your stay in the Coachella Valley, Barack and Michelle.  Let us know if you need any other vacation ideas.