Barack and Michelle Obama are coming to the desert – just as soon as they turn they keys over to leading the Free World to a con-artist with a red hat and no restraint on Twitter. There have been way too many lists about what they should do (and what their dogs should do?) when they get to the Coachella Valley. But, seriously, they should just go and get ripped at the Red Barn in Palm Desert.

Why? Well, first off, they have earned a good night of getting good and buzzed after 8 years of dealing with all the bullshit of Washington DC. I realize they are staying in Rancho Mirage, but where the hell are they going to go in that town that stays open past 9?  Nowhere because that town fucking hates people having fun!

Look.  The Red Barn is never anyone’s first (or second, or third) choice – but, at the end of the day, it gets the job done and there is no place in the desert that says, “fuck it” more than the Red Barn.  And if anyone needs a night of that, it’s the Obamas.

So, Barack and Michelle, go east a bit to Palm Desert to that big, ugly, red triangle building on Highway 111.  They have cheap drinks, billiards, and a van that will take you home when you get too drunk – which you need now because you don’t have that awesome limo or Air Force One anymore.