The Obamas are definitely / maybe moving to Rancho Mirage. As the good neighbors that we are, let’s welcome them with some helpful tips about living in the Coachella Valley.
First, let’s get out of the way what they absolutely should not do while in Rancho Mirage: listen to outdoor music, rent their home out to people under 30, smoke weed, or even think about supporting the CV Link.
As far as what they should do, well clearly the advice I would give to them is the advice I would give to anyone moving to town – which includes these 10 things:
- Don’t own a black car.
- Eat lunch as much as possible at TKB.
- If the TV weather guesser says there’s a “slight chance of sprinkles,” it will pour.
- Get beer at Babe’s on Mondays when it’s half-price
- See movies at the La Quinta theater because they have recliners and let you reserve your seats.
- Walk a few extra steps to catch an Uber at PSP.
- The parking lot of the River at Rancho Mirage is home to the biggest asshole drivers in the desert.
- Never, ever leave chocolate in your car in the summer.
- Three margaritas at Armando’s is one too many.
- Read Cactus Hugs every day.
That should get them started.
