The Desert Moon Metal Festival’s Facebook page is the best thing on the internet

(Facebook)

Do you think you know how to do social media? NO! NO YOU DON’T!!! No matter how many likes or shares or retweets or screenshots of your nude Snaps you get, you will never be as good as the Desert Moon Metal Festival – a thing that I had no idea was happening in Morongo Valley until my buddy Brian alerted me to their amazing Facebook page.

Now first off, that photo at the top of this article, that is the cover photo for the page. I assume that is where the festival, errr “festival” is being held. That’s amazing.

Now, please enjoy as I present to you a selection of some of the best posts from the page over the past few months. I give no context as you move on as, seriously, these are best read that way.  Be sure to buckle up, because it is a hell of a ride…

Looking for two major headliners for dmmf 2 trying to get ffdp phone number and Korn any one know them looking for other bands too fill the line up way better venue this year and camping

Posted by Desert moon metal festival 2 and paul allen productions on Thursday, November 17, 2016

Happy thanksgiving from paul allen productions and desert moon metal fest 2… I'm working my butt off through this…

Posted by Desert moon metal festival 2 and paul allen productions on Thursday, November 24, 2016

Getting the line up started for the festival a weekend of metal so hit me up ….looking for some major headliners…

Posted by Desert moon metal festival 2 and paul allen productions on Friday, January 13, 2017

I gotta get moving on this dam it light a fire under my ass someone and where the hell is Roland gagne my sound guy we need to sit down with so.e peeps set a date

Posted by Desert moon metal festival 2 and paul allen productions on Wednesday, April 5, 2017

Just so everyone knows sept. Is desert moon metal fest

Posted by Desert moon metal festival 2 and paul allen productions on Sunday, May 14, 2017

Ok people almost done finalizing and prey it all goes great because. If so your not gonna wanna miss this show got some…

Posted by Desert moon metal festival 2 and paul allen productions on Sunday, June 18, 2017

I got a lot of people trying to book now tickets will be on sale very soon……sorry for the delay finalising it all as we speak…thank you for your patiience

Posted by Desert moon metal festival 2 and paul allen productions on Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Still looking for a major headliner for desert moon metal festival

Posted by Desert moon metal festival 2 and paul allen productions on Saturday, July 15, 2017

If your playing the festival and you want and need a contract and wanna send me your logo please send me your email address

Posted by Desert moon metal festival 2 and paul allen productions on Friday, August 18, 2017

How does everyone feel about great white

Posted by Desert moon metal festival 2 and paul allen productions on Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Tickets online sale at Eventbrite.com for 50 bucks all weekend sale ends one 5th of oct.

Posted by Desert moon metal festival 2 and paul allen productions on Wednesday, September 20, 2017

I've got a night club in yucca im booking for if anyone's interested

Posted by Desert moon metal festival 2 and paul allen productions on Wednesday, September 27, 2017

the show isn't cancelled whoever is spreading this rumor your off the set list kick rocks

Posted by Desert moon metal festival 2 and paul allen productions on Friday, October 6, 2017

minus Scarred

Posted by Desert moon metal festival 2 and paul allen productions on Friday, October 13, 2017

First of all I wanna apologise to great white who called me to get on desert moon metal fest 2 I'm sorry but things…

Posted by Desert moon metal festival 2 and paul allen productions on Monday, October 16, 2017

There was only one ticket bought to my knowledge and that I received money for it apologize for the inconvenience of not…

Posted by Desert moon metal festival 2 and paul allen productions on Monday, October 16, 2017

Yeah, suck it Goldenvoice, take notes because compared to this magic, you totally suck at social media.  Honestly, Desert Moon Festival should run every Facebook page on the internet from now on because it’s that freakin’ amazing.

The Desert Sun reports the show is, somehow, still happening this weekend – which blows, because that might take them away from posting things.