Living in Greater Palm Springs, you quickly realize that for at least half of the year, you are going to have to put up with the Snowbirds. And while it is nice that they do bring some cash into town to spend on services, at Costco, and on their Seagram’s – there are some things that the Snowbirds just completely fuck up for everyone who lives in The Coachella Valley full-time.
Here are 5 of them:
1) The Roads
Sure, locals could go on and on about how terrible the roads are during “The Season” – and rightfully so, as reacting to how the typical Snowbird drives is damn near impossible.
Locals will find themselves asking the same questions of Snowbird drivers everyday: Is their blinker on for any reason in particular? Will they choose to stop at a four-way-stop or simply drive right through it? Do they know they are driving 35 mph under the posted speed limit?
And that is just for starters.
2) Happy Hour
Happy Hour is a great time to have a beverage or two (when it is done right). You save some cash on the drink and most places also offer up some nicely priced eats. But do not expect to enjoy any of it – because in The Desert, the Snowbirds all arrive early and take up all the seats. Then your 9-5 ass shows up after work, only to find you are shit-out-of-luck.
This also really blows for the restaurant’s servers – as a Snowbird couple will take up a 4-top for 3 hours, order only an appetizer and 2 waters with lemons, then tip 5%.
3) Concerts
Traditionally, a venue on a college campus will offer shows that college students actually want to see. But not in The Coachella Valley – where not just one, but two college campuses (Cal State and College of the Desert) both have theaters offering mostly shows that only those over the age of 700 would ever dream of going to. Plus how many times are the casinos going to keep bringing back Paul Anka?
4) Home Prices
Realtors love The Snowbirds – and why not? A commission is a commission. But for a Palm Springs local interested in buying a home, Snowbirds are a damn nightmare. Unlike other cities, where you just have to compete with other local buyers, The Coachella Valley has a ton of Snowbirds buying 2nd, 3rd, and 4th homes. This inflates the price of every house and condo in town and basically insures you will be renting forever or spending a fortune in gas commuting.
5) Golfing
Do you like to play a round of golf in less than 6 hours? Forget about that happening in Palm Springs. The combined age of the foursome in front of you is 600 years and they are not in the least bit of a hurry to move on to the next hole.
Locals: Anything that I left out? Chime in with a comment below.
