Moving to The Coachella Valley can take some getting used to as it is unlike just about any other place in The United States. Here are 10 things that newbies notice almost immediately:
1) You Learn What Real Heat Is
There is nothing like going outside to find it is still 108 degrees at 11 p.m.!
2) You Put Many, Many Miles on Your Car
The Coachella Valley has a ton of things to do…well, for the 65 and over crowd. If you are younger than that and interested in events and things that are geared towards you (or, in the summer, anything outside at all), you will be doing a lot of driving towards LA and San Diego.
3) You Get Rid of Your Winter Clothes
They just take up way too much space in the closet for those two nights a year you might be able to wear them.
4) You Put on “Summer Weight”
The Coachella Valley is opposite-land. Whereas most of the country loves the summer because of outdoor barbecues and parties – you are trapped indoors, blasting your A/C and binging on Netflix. Sure, you could go to the gym – but, that would mean getting into your 150 degree car to get there. Screw that.
5) You Start Driving With Extreme Caution
Sure, drivers everywhere can be assholes – but, in The Coachella Valley, it is the unpredictability of the driving that will have you on high alert for anything and everything. From people driving 20 mph on the freeway to not stopping at intersections to pickup trucks loaded up with what looks like 400 mattresses to snowbirds driving into buildings– you will see it all on Highway 111 and you will not want to take your eyes off the road for a second, especially during the season.
6) You See That Everyone Goes Batshit Crazy Every Time it Rains
The minute a drop of rain hits the ground in Greater Palm Springs, everyone will know about it. Your friends will post about it on Facebook, the local news will break in live to tell you about it, and beware on those roads – and not just for floods, but for all the distracted drivers taking pictures of that one drop on their windshield.
7) You Realize the Roads Make No Sense
Mesquite just ends then begins again? They only put one main way in and out of the La Quinta Cove? Golf carts are allowed on city streets? And why is the “Mid-Valley-Parkway” even a thing that exists?
8) Old People Are Everywhere and They Will Annoy You
Sure, some of the elderly are nice. Most are not – and you can not escape them. Ever.
9) Non-Melted Chocolate Becomes a Rare Delicacy
Did your kid’s Halloween candy all melt before you got home – that is because it was still 98 degrees on Halloween! If you are buying chocolate, you better eat it fast or quickly put it in the fridge – and never, ever, ever leave it in the car!
10) You Get Home Much Earlier
Looking for a late night place to dine? Hopefully you like fast food – because that is all you are are going to find open. The Desert becomes a complete ghost town on most nights at about 9 p.m. And if you should find yourself out on the roads late at night, be sure to obey all traffic laws as you will find that the car behind you is most likely a cop.